One of my client’s has a daughter, Paige a beautiful 5-year-old girl.  Paige is conservative and tends to be on the cautious side.  Attending her first week of school has been both fun and fearful.  The week first started out well. As the days move toward the weekend Paige begins to become more and more afraid at school even needing to call her Mom during the day.  Of course, Paige’s Mom begins to spend her days as stressed as Paige.

So what can they do?

Acknowledge the child’s fears and get specific.  By acknowledging the specific characteristics that drive the fear you can bring them out in the light for a closer look.  Establishing open conversation is key.

Here is a specific example of the problem:

Paige is afraid that a stranger will come into the class room ask her teacher for her by name and the teacher will allow her to be taken away from her safety.

Solution:

Parents acknowledge the truth in this for their child.

Parents help to logically sort out whether the  “thing” is physically possible or not.  Be honest, listen and allow the child to direct the answers.  It does not matter what you think is real.

If the fear is possible, begin to put a plan in place that allows for the child to have in place a safety plan that works.  It is important that the parent asks the question and the child answers clarifying the solution through discussion.  This discussion alone should bring a sense of relief and partnership to the situation and relationship.

Some example questions:

Have you ever heard or seen this happening at your school or someone else’s school?

Does her fear happen at a certain time of day or activity?

The more specific the answers the clearer the picture of what is happening for the child on the inside.

What to do if there is no outside evidence to be afraid of:

For Paige being afraid of strangers does not only happen at school.  Her parents have talked about the unlikely event that his would happen.  Paige disagrees.

What is next?

What happens with fears and phobias is we do them well! We practice them a lot!  That is why it can become so bone chilling for one person and a non-event for another.

Step one:  Start to break the habit.  That is right, thinking is a habit.  Start finding different things to think about when you would normally think about the fearful event.

Step two:  Ask questions.

With Paige, her parents may ask her, so how do you want to feel?  Remember don’t answer for the child it is impetrative that the child find the solutions with the guidance of the parent.  I would imagine however that Paige wants to feel safe and maybe even have fun.

Step three:  Once you have determined how you want to feel, think of other situations and times that you have been able to experience that feeling.  Get specific. The more specific and real experience the better chance that you will be able to capture the true emotion and reuse it.  We want to be able to capture the emotion of how we want to feel and replace or use it in the difficult fearful moments.

Step four:  Practice empowerment when you are not thinking or talking about the fear.  Teaching children that they are able to influence their emotions is the best gift you can give a child.  Teaching that her happiness, safety, and bliss lives inside of her.  Pegging what feels good for the child and encouraging them to find the value in feeling good.  Teaching them to practice feeling that emotion and thought process until it becomes something they naturally choose.

Thoughts are choices.  We give way to much power to the intellect mind.  For the most part it gives us great ability.  But at times, it can make life down right painful.  I invite you to look at your mind as a machine, a machine that has programming that works and programming that does not work.  All machines need tweaking every now and then.

All the best, Lori

•    That there is support that gets you up and back on, minimizing stress and gaining confidence.

•    There are training programs that provide you with effective skills and expertise that help you over come any challenge you may be experiencing.
The question is not if you will get thrown from the bull, it is how will you react when you hit the dirt? Will you wallow in pain exposing yourself to the hooves and horns? Or get up; dust your self off, take the valuable lessons learned and prepare for the next ride.  A Life Coach, particularly one who specializes in Neuro Linguistic Programming (or NLP), can provide you with specific tools and valuable insight that prepares you for your next success. The technology of NLP, allows riders to uncover and overcome limiting beliefs and create effective strategies for your next triumphant 8-second ride.
NLP coaching can be very effective in your own “ride of life”, and you may find the experience provokes you to share this valuable technology with others. Luckily if you’re interested, there are many certifications programs that allow you to become an expert in the technology of NLP and become a certified NLP Life Coach™ as well.

Usui Reiki (RAY Kee) is a hands-on healing art. It is the transference of the universal life energy (Ki or light energy) through an attuned Reiki practitioner to a person needing to regain health or well being. Reiki brings balance to the human system, clears un-healthful emotions, and restores the natural flow of energy that is essential to health and healing.

A practitioner attuned to the Reiki becomes a vessel through which this energy flows. The tradition of Reiki dates back to the mid 1800s, although its essence and use date much further back, most likely to the dawn of time. Reiki, as we know it today, found its start with Dr. Makao Usui, a philosopher and businessman. He was fluent in many languages and was an instructor of religion in Kyoto, Japan.

There are three levels of Reiki attunements: Reiki I, Reiki II and Reiki Master. Reiki I and II are practitioner levels and Reiki Master is an instructor level. The Reiki Master is entrusted with the passing on and upholding the Reiki lineage.

Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective in helping virtually every known illness. It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery. A Reiki treatment treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and wellbeing. Many have reported miraculous results.

Reiki is not dependent on one’s intellectual capacity or spiritual development. Reiki is an amazingly simple technique anyone can learn. In fact, it is not taught as much as it is transferred to the student during a Reiki class. The ability to use this energy is passed on during an “attunement” given by a Reiki master. Some spiritual healers have associated this attunement to the healing energy with the awakening of the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ disciples, when he passed on to them the ability to heal the sick. John 20: 21 and 22, “Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’ And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’.” Whatever ones belief, this process allows the student to tap into an unlimited supply of “life force energy” to improve one’s health and enhance the quality of life. It has been successfully taught to thousands of people of all ages and backgrounds.

Manifestation is one of those buzz words that is thrown around without much thought as to what it actually means. Manifestation is the process of making something manifest. The word manifest means to exhibit or to show. Manifestation is the evidence of having done something. Therefore, it is the result of action. So, if you want something in your life, action is needed to precede manifestation. Manifestation is merely the evidence that you have achieved your goal.

So, how does hypnosis manifest your dreams and desires? Hypnosis allows us to access the unconscious mind, where all of our experiences are stored. Since all of our behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs are guided by our unconscious mind that is where we need to go in order to influence change. Using hypnosis to make contact with the unconscious mind allows us to access deeply held beliefs about the world that may limit our achievement of our dreams. These beliefs, even though we may not be aware of them in our consciousness still influence our ability to realize our potential. Once we are able to find these limiting beliefs within the unconscious mind, we are then able to remove them and replace them with more positive and beneficial beliefs. These new beliefs help us to manifest our dreams and desires.

It is in this way that hypnosis is the action and manifestation is the result. When we take action achieve our dreams and desires, accomplishment is made manifest. This is because the beliefs in our unconscious minds color the way we see the world. Whatever we look for in our world is what we manifest. If we look through eyes filled with limitation, we see limitation around us. If we look through eyes of possibility, we see possibility. Which would you prefer? Manifest it- it’s your choice.

To get a hands on learning experience with Hypnotherapy, or to become a certified Hypnotherapist click here.

One of the things I am best at is helping clients over come obstacles to get what they want. So how can what happened to me today, help you?

We all have ways of doing things that are preprogrammed and run unconsciously without much fan fair. Most of the time this preprogramming works.  When it is ineffective sometimes we don’t realize it is within our control to change it until we have eaten 2500 calories or given ourselves a headache. Today, I could have done things differently.  I had expectations that may or may haven’t been reasonable.  I did not take the time to check in with myself periodically and make adjustments to my day.  But what was really happening unconsciously? Well, I take things seriously.  Sometimes too seriously!  A trait that yes, has many benefits, but not necessarily when it comes to the creative expression needed to write inspired copy.  See I used my strategy for business success,  “intense seriousness” and tried to apply it to the strategy of effective creative writing.  Not a winning combination.
So what is the benefit to all this: having the happiness now instead of our perceived happiness later.
Here is to creating the life you want.

All the best, Lori

Neuro-linguistic programming- (NLP)

NLP was developed by studying the natural thought processes of exceptional achievers, and makes their talents available to you – maximizing your potential both personally and professionally!

With its revolutionary approach to human inter & intra communication and human potential development techniques, NLP has helped millions of people all over the world overcome fears, increase confidence, enrich life, improve learning, and achieve greater success.

“NEURO” refers to the nervous system where our experiences are received and processed through our five senses. “LINGUISTIC” represents the language that we use – both verbal and non-verbal, that codes, organizes and gives meaning to our mental representations. “PROGRAMMING” is a computer metaphor that refers to our ability to discover and use the programs that we all mentally run. In short, NLP is about how to run our brain in a productive way to consistently achieve the results that we want.

For over 10 years, Bennett / Stellar University has been providing students throughout the world with comprehensive instruction certification courses and personal growth. Entrust in our years of experience and proven methods to become an NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and/or Reiki Master today!

Bennett / Stellar University is more than just a school, it’s a community for the free spirited. Our students become part of a growing worldwide network as they share common dreams and goals. Bennett / Stellar University provides students with better integrative training programs, unprecedented student support, as well as financial assistance programs.

Mission: To develop a community of individuals from all walks of life and diverse aspirations that have a common desire to contribute to the health and well-being of themselves and others. To be a true source for the freedom of spirit, the freedom from illness and dis-ease, and the freedom from limitations. To foster a life of fun, wealth, health and prosperity for all who desire to participate in the community that is Bennett/Stellar University.

Today, and really for the last week, I have had an item on my list just like this.  I want and feel the need to call a good friend that I haven’t spoken to in a couple of years that is sick.  I know for most of you this would be a no brainer, but I’m lost.
My goal is to have a meaningful conversation with her that supports her and allows me to be a loving friend.  I want to feel as though I am contributing to her life in a positive manner.  I want to be in alignment with my own values of what friendship means to me and have that be reflected in my actions.
The problem is I am allowing my feelings of not knowing how she feels about our relationship to create conflicted internal dialogs of “what ifs.”  This conflict is preventing me from being in alignment with my values.  I say things in my head like “What if she is mad at me?”  “What if she thinks I should have been a better friend to her the last two years? “ and what if -what if -what if!  These hypothetical scenarios create fear of rejection and prevent me from taking the action that creates alignment with my values as a friend.
It all makes me feel bad so I do nothing and it stays on my list.  I am afraid and consequently have built a model of counterproductive thinking around this subject and allowed it to get pretty big.   So I just keep it on my list.
The fix is to give my thoughts a reality check and then challenge my fears. By acknowledging that these imagined “what if” thoughts are keeping me from being in alignment with my values.  I am then able to have what I want.
I chose to challenge my thinking, check my thoughts for accuracy, and test them against previous successes; and to make a conscious choice to stop presumed negative “what ifs” and turn them into good feeling “what ifs”.
Try it out on your own “what if” list and let me know how it works.  I would love to hear and share in your experience of having the life you want.

Email me!
Lori@ArizonaLifeCoachTraining.com

My goal, to have a win-win situation with my ex-husband.  I want to respect our accomplishments of the past and to feel respected in this situation forward.  And of course, having a fair division of our properties equity. Setting a clear goal prior to our meeting was crucial. How would I be feeling when I was accomplishing these goals?  I knew I wanted to feel respect, love and a sense of fairness. Establishing how I would be feeling when these goals were met gave me a sense of internal control. I could review my feeling periodically throughout the meeting and use them as an indication of my immediate success.

The problem, I was afraid, having never been in this situation before made me feel vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable kicked in my auto responder thinking. My auto responder in this situation went something like: “you know people will take advantage of you and therefore you have to fight for what you want.”  Feeling a loss of control was starting to dictate my behavior.  I could tell I was moving further and further away from what I wanted.  I was running on auto responder and that rarely gets me what I want.

Steps to achieving my goal took courage.  I had to be willing to make the additional effort to insure success.  I have in the past known what to do; but looked the other way because sometimes being on auto responder is easier.
Here was the fix: Turn off the auto responder! Paying attention to what was happening and how I was feeling allowed me to be at choice.  Achieving my goal would take immediate intentional intervention.  Regain the internal control that I knew I could have. By turning off my auto responder it allowed me to reconnect with what I really wanted: respect, love and a sense of fairness.  I began to feel at choice.  Ah freedom of choice, really no greater gift.

Are you on auto responder?  I want to hear about it.

Email me at: lori@ArizonaLifeCoachTraining.com today.