One of my client’s has a daughter, Paige a beautiful 5-year-old girl.  Paige is conservative and tends to be on the cautious side.  Attending her first week of school has been both fun and fearful.  The week first started out well. As the days move toward the weekend Paige begins to become more and more afraid at school even needing to call her Mom during the day.  Of course, Paige’s Mom begins to spend her days as stressed as Paige.

So what can they do?

Acknowledge the child’s fears and get specific.  By acknowledging the specific characteristics that drive the fear you can bring them out in the light for a closer look.  Establishing open conversation is key.

Here is a specific example of the problem:

Paige is afraid that a stranger will come into the class room ask her teacher for her by name and the teacher will allow her to be taken away from her safety.

Solution:

Parents acknowledge the truth in this for their child.

Parents help to logically sort out whether the  “thing” is physically possible or not.  Be honest, listen and allow the child to direct the answers.  It does not matter what you think is real.

If the fear is possible, begin to put a plan in place that allows for the child to have in place a safety plan that works.  It is important that the parent asks the question and the child answers clarifying the solution through discussion.  This discussion alone should bring a sense of relief and partnership to the situation and relationship.

Some example questions:

Have you ever heard or seen this happening at your school or someone else’s school?

Does her fear happen at a certain time of day or activity?

The more specific the answers the clearer the picture of what is happening for the child on the inside.

What to do if there is no outside evidence to be afraid of:

For Paige being afraid of strangers does not only happen at school.  Her parents have talked about the unlikely event that his would happen.  Paige disagrees.

What is next?

What happens with fears and phobias is we do them well! We practice them a lot!  That is why it can become so bone chilling for one person and a non-event for another.

Step one:  Start to break the habit.  That is right, thinking is a habit.  Start finding different things to think about when you would normally think about the fearful event.

Step two:  Ask questions.

With Paige, her parents may ask her, so how do you want to feel?  Remember don’t answer for the child it is impetrative that the child find the solutions with the guidance of the parent.  I would imagine however that Paige wants to feel safe and maybe even have fun.

Step three:  Once you have determined how you want to feel, think of other situations and times that you have been able to experience that feeling.  Get specific. The more specific and real experience the better chance that you will be able to capture the true emotion and reuse it.  We want to be able to capture the emotion of how we want to feel and replace or use it in the difficult fearful moments.

Step four:  Practice empowerment when you are not thinking or talking about the fear.  Teaching children that they are able to influence their emotions is the best gift you can give a child.  Teaching that her happiness, safety, and bliss lives inside of her.  Pegging what feels good for the child and encouraging them to find the value in feeling good.  Teaching them to practice feeling that emotion and thought process until it becomes something they naturally choose.

Thoughts are choices.  We give way to much power to the intellect mind.  For the most part it gives us great ability.  But at times, it can make life down right painful.  I invite you to look at your mind as a machine, a machine that has programming that works and programming that does not work.  All machines need tweaking every now and then.

All the best, Lori

•    That there is support that gets you up and back on, minimizing stress and gaining confidence.

•    There are training programs that provide you with effective skills and expertise that help you over come any challenge you may be experiencing.
The question is not if you will get thrown from the bull, it is how will you react when you hit the dirt? Will you wallow in pain exposing yourself to the hooves and horns? Or get up; dust your self off, take the valuable lessons learned and prepare for the next ride.  A Life Coach, particularly one who specializes in Neuro Linguistic Programming (or NLP), can provide you with specific tools and valuable insight that prepares you for your next success. The technology of NLP, allows riders to uncover and overcome limiting beliefs and create effective strategies for your next triumphant 8-second ride.
NLP coaching can be very effective in your own “ride of life”, and you may find the experience provokes you to share this valuable technology with others. Luckily if you’re interested, there are many certifications programs that allow you to become an expert in the technology of NLP and become a certified NLP Life Coach™ as well.

One of the things I am best at is helping clients over come obstacles to get what they want. So how can what happened to me today, help you?

We all have ways of doing things that are preprogrammed and run unconsciously without much fan fair. Most of the time this preprogramming works.  When it is ineffective sometimes we don’t realize it is within our control to change it until we have eaten 2500 calories or given ourselves a headache. Today, I could have done things differently.  I had expectations that may or may haven’t been reasonable.  I did not take the time to check in with myself periodically and make adjustments to my day.  But what was really happening unconsciously? Well, I take things seriously.  Sometimes too seriously!  A trait that yes, has many benefits, but not necessarily when it comes to the creative expression needed to write inspired copy.  See I used my strategy for business success,  “intense seriousness” and tried to apply it to the strategy of effective creative writing.  Not a winning combination.
So what is the benefit to all this: having the happiness now instead of our perceived happiness later.
Here is to creating the life you want.

All the best, Lori

Today, and really for the last week, I have had an item on my list just like this.  I want and feel the need to call a good friend that I haven’t spoken to in a couple of years that is sick.  I know for most of you this would be a no brainer, but I’m lost.
My goal is to have a meaningful conversation with her that supports her and allows me to be a loving friend.  I want to feel as though I am contributing to her life in a positive manner.  I want to be in alignment with my own values of what friendship means to me and have that be reflected in my actions.
The problem is I am allowing my feelings of not knowing how she feels about our relationship to create conflicted internal dialogs of “what ifs.”  This conflict is preventing me from being in alignment with my values.  I say things in my head like “What if she is mad at me?”  “What if she thinks I should have been a better friend to her the last two years? “ and what if -what if -what if!  These hypothetical scenarios create fear of rejection and prevent me from taking the action that creates alignment with my values as a friend.
It all makes me feel bad so I do nothing and it stays on my list.  I am afraid and consequently have built a model of counterproductive thinking around this subject and allowed it to get pretty big.   So I just keep it on my list.
The fix is to give my thoughts a reality check and then challenge my fears. By acknowledging that these imagined “what if” thoughts are keeping me from being in alignment with my values.  I am then able to have what I want.
I chose to challenge my thinking, check my thoughts for accuracy, and test them against previous successes; and to make a conscious choice to stop presumed negative “what ifs” and turn them into good feeling “what ifs”.
Try it out on your own “what if” list and let me know how it works.  I would love to hear and share in your experience of having the life you want.

Email me!
Lori@ArizonaLifeCoachTraining.com

My goal, to have a win-win situation with my ex-husband.  I want to respect our accomplishments of the past and to feel respected in this situation forward.  And of course, having a fair division of our properties equity. Setting a clear goal prior to our meeting was crucial. How would I be feeling when I was accomplishing these goals?  I knew I wanted to feel respect, love and a sense of fairness. Establishing how I would be feeling when these goals were met gave me a sense of internal control. I could review my feeling periodically throughout the meeting and use them as an indication of my immediate success.

The problem, I was afraid, having never been in this situation before made me feel vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable kicked in my auto responder thinking. My auto responder in this situation went something like: “you know people will take advantage of you and therefore you have to fight for what you want.”  Feeling a loss of control was starting to dictate my behavior.  I could tell I was moving further and further away from what I wanted.  I was running on auto responder and that rarely gets me what I want.

Steps to achieving my goal took courage.  I had to be willing to make the additional effort to insure success.  I have in the past known what to do; but looked the other way because sometimes being on auto responder is easier.
Here was the fix: Turn off the auto responder! Paying attention to what was happening and how I was feeling allowed me to be at choice.  Achieving my goal would take immediate intentional intervention.  Regain the internal control that I knew I could have. By turning off my auto responder it allowed me to reconnect with what I really wanted: respect, love and a sense of fairness.  I began to feel at choice.  Ah freedom of choice, really no greater gift.

Are you on auto responder?  I want to hear about it.

Email me at: lori@ArizonaLifeCoachTraining.com today.

I hope your doing well.  For some of us, it has been a while since we connected. I have been busy creating and living the life I set out to explore; enjoying, and of course, like most of us, sometimes muddling my way through each moment of the day.

As many of you know, I am CRAZY ABOUT NLP.

Since learning NLP, I have done little else except discover and apply the invaluable processes to my own life and then ultimately teach NLP for the prosperity of others to enjoy.  I have been gifted the opportunity to join in partnership with Bennett Stellar University and have been training NLP-Hypnotherapy Life Coaching programs in Seattle. I have thoroughly enjoyed the traveling, fun and inspired learning that has taken place.

In keeping with my desire for evolution, I am honored and excited to share that I have realized my dream.  I have created a Life Coaching School here in Phoenix. The initial focus of Arizona Life Coach Training school will be to offer certification in NLP-Hypnotherapy and Reiki. This program not only allows individuals the tools to transform themselves but also provides the skills necessary to help others achieve the life they desire.

Our weekend certification program launches in Phoenix May 16th 2009.

Feel free to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.

Your Friend,Lori

May I say? “What the hell is wrong?”

  
I am a Deliberate Creator. I have attended the classes; I meditate, visualize, pre-pave, use my creation box, create happy thoughts, treat people nicely and still I can’t quite seem to get my stream strong enough, consistently enough to produce many of the “MANIFESTATIONS I DESIRE!” And may I say, they’re, they’re usually the ones I really, really want! Am I alone or do you feel this way, too? Could it be that we have unseen holes that are leaking our Pure Positive Energy right out or, more accurately, contributing to contradicting vibrations? I have a theory. I realize that in myself there are deep unconscious beliefs. Beliefs that create underlying behaviors (vibrations) that are keeping me from allowing in what I want. I believe that all beliefs result in States of Operation, and we have a specific strategy for carrying out those States.

We have a strategy for being a mother, co-worker, business owner, husband, the list never ends. And in each state we have a strategy for doing it. Even down to the mundane things like washing dishes, driving or attending meetings, we have a strategy. Some strategies are effective and resourceful, some are not. I would estimate that 90% of our strategies are unconscious. We label these strategies as personality characteristics or, if we don’t approve, as character flaws. We often view these strategies as who we are and never realize the vibrational impact this has on our moment-to-moment frequency and, therefore, our manifestations. Through focused awareness we are able to recognize and activate choices, and create actions that represent the deliberate manifestors that we truly are. If I say, “I want to be ‘financially-free’,” but I have a strategy that radiates low self-esteem, self-doubt, and worried beliefs about the economy, this part of my strategy is in direct conflict with my desired feeling to be “financial-free”. Where to Begin Recognize what your current strategies are. Every strategy contains the following characteristics:

• Specific beliefs and values
• How you breathe, hold your body, and process thoughts that create your emotions
• The language you use and what specific actions you take are all your strategy.

You are your strategy in each moment. Even when you read a book, you have a strategy. What genre is it? Where are you when you’re reading? What position do you sit or lie in? How long do you read? How does the environment feel? All of these are your strategies when reading a book. Now, a book-reading strategy would not seem all that important unless you are a struggling student that desires outstanding reading results. Knowing your strategy for reading has know become a very powerful tool.
Leverage the Law of Attraction and allow it, free the unconscious of limiting beliefs and behaviors that keep us static. Look at what current strategies align you with your Divine Spirit, duplicate them, then watch life bloom.


In Love, Lori

Click Here Alan’s Love:

If you want more, here is the entire 2-20-08 tele-class audio. Click Here To Listen

Would you like to benefit from a live coaching session? If you are interested in a free laser focused session, please send me an email. As well, if you would like to be added to my mailing list for Your Hour Of Power or receiving the latest emails, along with my monthly informative life changing E-zines, click here and register

Now is the moment there is; may we seize the moment, Love Lori